As I type, the winds of a minor hurricane are whipping around our home, sheets of rain pelting the sides. You get used to these things when you live in Florida. At 6 am I got an automated call from Flagler County Emergency Services telling us that there was a tornado warning for our area. A tornado during a hurricane. Only in Florida. Oddly enough, I didn’t even put down my coffee. As I said, you get used to these things. (smile)
Weariness is on my heart today. Not my own. But maybe one or more of you. Are any of you weary? Does it feel like an uphill battle, no matter how hard you try, you end up back in the same place? You can’t get your footing. Your shoes keep slipping in the dirt and gravel. You’re tired of the fight.
From a distance, I am putting my arms around you. I am giving you one of those good, squeezy hugs. It’s no fun to be in that place. God has brought me there many times. Ugh. I hated it.
That place of struggle, I have lost count of how many times my path ended up there. I may have to go to that place again. Only God knows.
I see it now. I see the purpose of that place. Really, those places. They are similar, but each time we are there is special. Different. Each has it’s own ghastly thoughts and weights. But I see those times in my life for what they were, what they are. I have had to go through those dark tunnels, and may still, so that I will realize that I can’t get to the light in my own strength. I feel hopeless because I have put my hope in “me!” Why can’t I just try harder? Why don’t I just shake it off and get up and get myself out of this???? I’m a failure. I’m hopeless. I’m never going to be any better than I am right now. I can never get to the place God wants me to be. I am buried under this heavy weight and will never make it out from under.
These words. These thoughts. They are a beautiful song in the ears of your God. The music of angels can’t compete with it. It is the song of a child who has come to the end of themselves. A child who is willing to give up. Who just wants to quit. Glorious.
I can imagine God saying, “Now! I have you where I want you.”
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11)
It’s a crazy trade, right??? We give our horrible burden to Him and He gives us His yoke. His easy yoke. His light burden. So light, I daresay you may not even feel the weight of it. So easy, you may not feel that you are putting in any effort at all.
Christ in us, the hope of glory. Christ in us, doing all the heavy lifting. The creator of all things, making His abode with us. Fighting our battles. Climbing our mountains. Defeating our darkness.
We can do nothing. We cannot overcome. We cannot win. We cannot “shake it off.”
We are only asked to do one thing. “Come to me…” God just wants us to come to Him. That’s it. That’s all.
And let me tell you a little secret. Even if you don’t go to Him, He will never leave you or forsake you. He is the Good Shepherd who will come and find you. Though you make your bed in hell, He will be there. Though you rise on the wings of the dawn and settle in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there, even there His hands will hold you fast. If you think the darkness will hide you from Him and anything that ever felt like light has turned into night around you, the darkness is not dark to God. The night shines as bright as day to Him. You can’t escape the God that made you and loves you beyond all hope or imagining.
I keep tearing up as I type this. What’s up with that?
I love you all very much!